Why put pen to paper when you can put fingers to keys?

Wall Art

December 16, 2008 at 4:09 am (Uncategorized)

This is tops on my “wall of fame”. Sarah, please don’t hurt me for posting it!  

Sarah’s list of ’100 Things… ‘ inspired me to start writing again. Also, I haven’t been able to get much sleep in last few days, and I HAVE to write to get my thoughts out. Mostly I write in a prayer journal, but I forget that I don’t see (or talk) to most of you guys as much as I would like – so maybe I’ll be better about keeping this up.

I’m being blog stalked I think, because they keep metrics about your sight, and people LOVE to view mine via Facebook. So, enjoy!?! My life is not that interesting.

Recently I’ve made my apartment more home-y, since I decided Waco is definitely where I will be for a while. Anyway, that requires furniture that doesn’t inflate (I lived on an air mattress for like 10 months – in all fairness, 2 of those months were in DC and I had a real bed). Anyway, I’m down to the last “little” thing. The wall I see every night before I go to sleep. It is just this giant (nothing here is really giant, but it seems that way when it is blank) empty space. It was just sort of blah, so I decided it needed something… so I opened all my boxes of memories: photos, ticket stubs, wedding invitations (’cause you know I have like 574305473025 gazillion – and no I will not be hanging any of the infamous bridesmaid’s dresses up!) and then I headed to IKEA… I got tons of frames in various sizes. When I say tons, I mean something in the ballpark of 45. Anyway, I painted them all black and filled them with these memories. The project started off being something to make me smile, or perhaps recall a friend I haven’t seen in a while (Sarah!), family I can’t live near, places I’ve traveled, things I’ve done (there is an FFA section – haha), but it turned into something much more… 

First, I should say that just going through the boxes was great. However, the real reward was looking at it all together… sure it is an amazing work of art, and you KNOW I took hours with a laser level and mapped out the perfect pattern on the wall, but what’s really amazing… is how full it made me feel. It made me, for the first time in a really long time, see how God has worked in my life. I have seen countless blessings from Him, and continue too, and honestly I never cease to be amazed by this part, but my God is the master of turning bad things into HUGE blessings. One of my favorite things about the Lord is that He always works things out in a manner that leaves no question about whose plan it really was. I didn’t just hang happy pictures… I even hung pictures of people who aren’t in my life (like my grandmother who I *think* is still alive, and know is very estranged) and events that may have been less than pleasant (the car accident that changed my life for many reasons, but was the first time I knew God, the day I became a believer). When I sat on my bed and stared at the wall for a while I realized something… this “collage” is the exact roadmap God has been looking at all along. My life feels so full! There were so many things I dreamed about as a child of a single mother, in a low income house, in rural Missouri, that I never thought would happen, and they did! I’ve been to Europe, I’ve seen 42 states, I’ve loved someone with all of my being, I’ve felt love, I’m made mistakes, I’ve done things right (even when it wasn’t easy), I’ve done things wrong (even when it would have been easy not to- silly humans), I’ve laughed, I’ve cried, I’ve made a bucket list (and started marking things off of it!), I’ve taught at a college level, I’ve hurt others, I’ve been hurt by others, I’ve learned to forgive (everyone but myself really), I’ve learned to let go, I’ve learned to hold on, I got a master’s degree, a job that I enjoy, friends I love, a family where we can enjoy each other, I’ve completed a triathlon (and I’m the least naturally athletic person you will ever meet), I’ve laughed until I’ve cried, I’ve witnessed some of the most important events in the lives of those I love, I’ve found the Lord, I’ve pulled away from the Lord, the Lord has always pulled me back, and perhaps the biggest accomplishment came yesterday… as I sat laughing (and maybe a tear or two hear and there) starring at those memories (CBC, random missions, Nibs- Sarah? AF days Emily? Cows! USDA. FFA. Cornell. Baylor. Europe (multiple times!). Montana. Buddy the dog. TexasLife. Honorary Kendrick.) I realized that for the first time in my life the Lord has brought me to a place I always thought I had been and never knew I hadn’t reached until I arrived… the place where I was finally comfortable in my own skin. In my identity in Christ.

It will always be my hope that God continues to lead me, and teach me to grow, but that He keeps me close enough (because He knows I can’t do it alone!) to always look back at the memories and see His hand prints throughout my life.